It must hurt my darling, you must be tired of it all.
You must be tired of always being the adventurous one they like to explore, but just for a fleeting moment. The free one they can fly with when their wings are broken and they can’t fly themselves. Tired of being the poetic one they can dream with. The pretty one they can flaunt with. The wild one they try to run with while they barely ever are able to keep up. The one they can shine with while your light slowly dims. It must be lonely.
You must be tired of always attracting the bored ones who are longing for “something different” or a change of scenery. Or the ones who puff up their chest with misplaced bravery but are filled with cowardness instead. It must hurt to give so much when all you seem to get back are empty cups, running over.
It must be exhausting to always be the one climbing and picking up fallen ones along the way. You are a giver and your heart has the size of the Universe. Still, it breaks easily like glass, it must hurt. It must feel endlessly tiring to be the one they think is supposed to save them when they can only save themselves.
You must be tired of running around in every burning building you come across searching the rooms for boys who need a savior. Stop that and save yourself.
I know you must be tired right now. Your soul feels burned but there is still fire inside, you must not forget this. You might be bored of kissing your own fingertips, holding your own neck and drying your own tears. I get it. But it is the only way to go. It’s the only way to heal your broken heart of glass. Trust me, I know. Replace shoulders by pillows, lay your head and close your eyes. You don’t need a savior or a hero. Turn the heat on in your heart and repair yourself – with gold- before repairing anyone else. You are made out of stardust and your strength is beyond, use it wisely. Love can be deceiving and will hurt more than once. You know this. Don’t wish for that shoulder, don’t wish for that soldier. You can save yourself, really. You don’t have to be whole, it’s okay to be a little broken. It’s okay to be yourself.
And I get that you are tired. Just promise you won’t stop giving, but please give the most to yourself.
You don’t need to take anyone on your back while marching through this wild journey called life. You have done this way too many times. It is fine to walk alone. Heal yourself my darling, your heart, your brain, your soul. Flying alone doesn’t have to be lonely, just trust me on this one. Fly high like you’re supposed to. Run wild like you’re supposed to. It may seem like forever but just know my dear somewhere along the way there will be someone – not in a burning house but on a rooftop and he will run wild with you. I promise.
Love is only healing when it comes from within yourself. Trust me. love me. love you. love yourself. Keep breathing, keep healing, you are really doing great. You are amazing with a light that rarely dims, just be picky who to shine it on.